if you like me you must not know who I am
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
