somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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