did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
