He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
