Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
