And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just had sex on a roof
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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