So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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