Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
