He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
