I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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