Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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