Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
