That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
