32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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