I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
