i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
