he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
