My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's always time for handjobs
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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