I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
