Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
