Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
two words: eviction party
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
last night I used snow as a chaser
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
