so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
