Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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