I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this just has baby written all over it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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