If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize