is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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