Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
