Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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