That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
two words: eviction party
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize