he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
