i don't like sucking hair
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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