Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize