New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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