The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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