sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
