ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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