I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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