Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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