I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
