You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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