I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
BRING THE BAGELS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
