Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's great music for shaving your balls
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
