Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize