You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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