Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
