omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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