Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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