There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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