A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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