he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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