You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I need to calm my uterus...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
