I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
