She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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