I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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