Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well I just put wine in my tea
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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