the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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