An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
