Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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