dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
