yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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