Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
