Grow some girl-balls and come out already
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
