If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
